Fading Evenstar

Mon, 31 May 2004 23:49:26 GMT

I couldnt delete this, because there are some entries that I want to keep around. But you can find me now at bloodneverlies Hope to see you there!!!

Tue, 25 May 2004 16:00:33 GMT

I'm really debating this journal. I want it in the fact that it gives me a way to communicate with people. But then sometimes I hate it.

I am deleting... but I will be back.

I have to leave this name.

Fri, 21 May 2004 06:17:46 GMT

I am going to make this friends only. So leave a comment if you want to stay friended on my list. Because I am doing an over-haul on this thing.

Wed, 19 May 2004 05:38:15 GMT

for every action there is an equal but opposite reaction

I just have to keep telling myself that and I think I will be ok.

I hope I will be ok.

I've never lost someone this important to me before.

But he is gone.

And I have to be ok with it.

Right?!?!?!

I want to know now...

Fri, 14 May 2004 15:08:48 GMT

Tell me..

what is it that I have to say,

what moves should I make,

that would satisfy

that difficult heart of yours?

You know I love you,

you can see that from miles away.

And I know you love me,

but sometimes

I cant even feel it;

even when you're right in front of me.

Tell me..

what is it that you want from me?

I've given you everything

that I have,

and yet those angry words

seem loudest

when all I want is peace.

You have my heart..

now tell me,

what else is it

that you'll take?

Tue, 11 May 2004 13:32:21 GMT

Well, the weekend was... instersting to say the least. I forgot alot of things about being home. Some that I was glad to remember and others that I wish I could have kept forgotten.

Fri, 07 May 2004 04:57:20 GMT

So I had a whole entry, but fell asleep and lost all of it.

sigh...

I fear this weekend is going to be a huge huge bust.

expected...

sigh...

Thu, 06 May 2004 03:14:52 GMT

ugh... sometimes I wonder about you. Do you have to assume the worst. That I was talking about you. (ie my "In 2 Days" entry, "someone" left a comment) Babe, it wasnt about you. Trust me, I would have named your name!

Well, tomorrow is my last day at the Irish Store. ::sniffle:: I almost cried, and so did Grace! I was like "whoa!"

oh look at new icon pimpage!

I do have to admit something. I DONT CARE IF FRIENDS IS ENDING!!!!!! God, I hate that show. Everyone can stop talking about it!

My Ani cd has been getting a serious workout lately. I guess I am in a very "angry girl" mode.

you rhapsodize about beauty
and my eyes glaze
everything I love is ugly
I mean really, you would be amazed
just do me a favor
it's the least you can do
just don't treat me like I am
something that happened to you

I am so bored... blah blah blah blah!

In 2 days...

Wed, 05 May 2004 05:54:13 GMT

I get to see my sister and brother.

I get to get a hug from my father

I get to be licked by my dog.

I get to have my cheeks pinched by papa wimp and grandma alice.

I get to "Kyle: plus, you're going to be quite worn out after the 8th ;-) ::smirk::" have fun with Kyle again.

I get to leave the stress that is here.

I get a few days off from work.

I get a to stop thinking about certian people.

I get to smile.

I get to be happy.

Tue, 04 May 2004 18:21:34 GMT

yeah, so this entry is basically to pimp my new icon that I made. I know it sucks, but I'm new!

it's from the play tartuffe. The whole line is "cover that bosom girl, suchs sights as those can undermind the soul"

Let's Go Wings!

Tue, 04 May 2004 03:25:29 GMT

Man, I am a nervous wreck watching the hockey game. Come one wings! They arent playing like they can! Come on boys!

Mon, 03 May 2004 19:52:26 GMT

well, this is kinda the test of the new layout. I'm not too sure if I like it or not. I am going to add some more pictures to it and try to make it less grainy.

Please leave some comments on ways to improve and ideas for it!

Mon, 03 May 2004 05:33:13 GMT

time for this layout to sail off the the grey havens...

because everyone else is doing it

Sun, 02 May 2004 23:44:18 GMT

fading_evenstar

man I was hoping for pink.... sigh

yoinked from Kyle

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 18:37:40 GMT

A - Age: 20
B - Band listening to right now: Ani Difranco
C - Career in future: musician
D - Dad's name: Lee and Brian(step)
E - Easiest person to talk to: Brenna
F - Favorite song at the moment: Status Quo - Picture of a Matchstick Man (thanks Andy!)
G - Grinagog (smiles a lot) or Grum (morose, surly)? Grinagog
H - How many major scars do you have? 3, one on my thigh from a glass, one on my knuckle from a brick wall, and one on my elbow from a bike accident
I - Instruments you play: oh geez... Clarinet(Bb, A, Eb), Trumpet, Drums, Sax, Flute, Piano, Organ, and Oboe. Can you tell I'm a music major
J - Jesus or Buddha? meh...
K - Kids: as long as they are someone elses
L - Longest time you've stayed awake: a day and a half almost
M - Marriage muthafucka! Do you speak it?!: hell no!
N - Number of siblings: 4 half siblings, all younger
O - Oneiros (god of dreams) or Orpheus (god of angsty music): Orpheus
P - Phobias: heights, death, bad hair days
Q - Quote you like: "I'd rather be a musician than a rockstar"
R - Raison d'etre: sigh...
S - Song you last sang, whistled, hummed: I Believe In A Thing Called Love - the Darkness
T - Trucker or poet? poet I guess
U - Unusual trait: when I get a new box of clarinet reeds I always smash the first one against the wall.
V - Vaccilatory (indecisive) or decisive?: vaccilatory.... wait... yeah I guess... no... yeah...vaccilatory... I'm pretty sure
W - Which fictional character do you feel most like? at the moment, Eponine
X - Xenophobic (fear of strangers) or Xenophile (love of strangers): Xenophile
Y - Yakuza or Mafia?: Mafia
Z - Zodiac sign: Aquarius

Thu, 29 Apr 2004 03:44:29 GMT

1. Go into your LJ archives.
2. Find your 23rd post (or closest to).
3. Find the fifth sentence (or closest to).
4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.

HA! The boy is wearing converse! February 13th, 2004

the truth of it all...

Mon, 26 Apr 2004 05:03:21 GMT

Why is it that I can't have the one person I want more than anything?

Why is it that I am not loved in return by someone who I love more than life itself?

enough said...

Sun, 25 Apr 2004 05:06:08 GMT

I've been a bad bad girl...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
but it feels oh so good!

Thu, 22 Apr 2004 18:47:58 GMT

today is national day of silence in support of gays and lesbians....

so shut yer trap!

Wed, 21 Apr 2004 06:21:45 GMT

not like anyone will do this, but for lack of a real post....

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?
20. Are you going to put this on your livejournal and see what I say about you?

the mirror was fogged over

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 19:57:36 GMT

I got out of the shower this morning, looked into the mirror.

Usually I avoid mirrors at all cost, but not today.

I find my reflection more than unusual today. Something was different.

My eyes

They have something there that wasnt there before. They are beginning to tell their story. To tell my story.

I pretend to be this strong person, I pretend to be this brick. My all that I hide in the shadows of my persons are being brought to light in my eyes.

"The eye is always caught by light, but shadows have more to say"

I saw the words of Andy in them, and saw that he was right...

I try, but it's a role I suck at.

I am not this strong tough ass, I am a woman, I have feelings, and in the end...

I'm finally ok with that.

Tue, 20 Apr 2004 04:12:15 GMT

commercial on tv for erectile disfunction pill: If erection lasts longer than 4 hours seek medical attention immeadiatly

Micalah: if erection lasts longer than 4 hours, seek the attention of a new g/f or b/f.

Mon, 19 Apr 2004 19:01:48 GMT

this is my skeleton
this is the skin it's in
that is, according to light
and gravity
i'll take off my disguise
the mask you met me in
`cuz i got something
for you to see
just gimme your skeleton
give me the skin it's in
yeah baby, this is you
according to me
i never avert my eyes
i never compromise
so never mind
the poetry

oh how I love micalah!

Sun, 18 Apr 2004 03:06:27 GMT

my emo brings all the boys to the yard
damn right it's sadder than yours

In sleep he sang to me...

Fri, 16 Apr 2004 17:33:50 GMT

I saw Phantom of the Opera last night.

The funny thing is that when I cry it is because of the music, not the story.

Yeah it's a love story, but the music is so pverwhelming and powerful.

In the beginning, the oventure, when they are raising the Chandelier... I ball like a baby. Music of the Night, I had my eyes closed through the whole song, just listening to the music. And Masquerade... oh man.... tissue please!

The guy that played Phantom was amazing. And I am picky when it comes to playing the phantom. I like Michael Crawford or Colm Wilkinson. But man, this guy was good. I wanted to run up and give him the biggest hug and a teddy bear. And could he sing!

Sigh...

"It's over now the music of the night"